Sunday, May 5, 2019

And Yet Another Sport...

...conforms to the zeitgeist of wussification...I will never watch another Kentucky Derby.

They actually DQ'd the winner because - the horror! - there was incidental contact! - during the race...first time they've overturned the race results in 145 runnings of this once great classic...

...and it only took them 20 minutes of constant review of 5 different camera angles to come to this enlightened decision.

Remember, nothing can happen in real time anymore!

Quick everyone!  Run for your safe spaces!

Hopefully they also saw that some of the jockeys actually got mud in their hair! - an unconscionable inconvenience considering the post ride interviews everyone now expects 5 seconds after the race has concluded.

Johnny Longden and Willie Shoemaker are currently spinning in their graves as they mourn the wimpification of their once glorious sport.

Thankfully men need no longer apply as the most exciting two minutes in sport has now officially become the most antiseptic two minutes.

Future races will eliminate horses and riders altogether for their safety, replacing them instead with cgi simulations.

That way there will be no risk of anything actually happening to anyone.

We'll breathlessly report -

No living organisms were harmed in any way!

No gender preference pronouns were mangled!

No micro aggressions were committed!

- during the staging of the most boring two minutes in non-entertainment.

Tear down Churchill Downs; no longer required as you'll be able to watch the video simulation while it's being falsified on Fakebook.

Run for the Roses?  Forget that!  Participation ribbons all around.

Mint juleps and cigars?  Perish the thought!  Replaced for your health with carrot juice and celery sticks.

Way to go guys...you didn't just disgrace yourselves, you also ruined an entire sport in a spasm of politically correct wokefulness.

God in heaven, can we become any more pathetic?
Karen had eyelid surgery this week and here's a picture...
What?  You thought I was going to show you her stitched eyelid?

That would be my last conscious act here on planet earth if I did.  She tells me the stitches make her look like the Bride of Frankenstein.

I told her that's totally appropriate...
The good looking guy on the right...that's me...
She's recovering very nicely but does need a little help in the mornings to get going, so no golfing this weekend...
...though I did suggest she might want to get up early and come along as my caddie...oddly, she declined.

As the weather improves, so does our view around the ol' homestead...
...along with an increase in critter activity...and we've added a goose to the local menagerie lately...
...to complement the usual birds, squirrels and 'possum...
...who comes around nightly now to feed  out of the cat food dish on our back patio.

Ms. Duck was lounging around our backyard...
...until she suddenly departed...
...with Kitty in hot but hopeless pursuit...
...maybe next time.
In the new home decor department...
...Karen found this globe lamp...complements the mid century modern look in our TV room very nicely...and yes, that's actually a portrait of Kitty on the wall...matches the one of Smokey on the other side...
...there's so much to say here but my natural instinct for self-preservation constrains me...
It's the start of Tulip Time here...
...and we've got gorgeous weather for it this weekend...but way too much road construction in the area...a bit of a traffic nightmare at times.

Oh well, it's good for the local economy if not for my blood pressure.
And on the diet front...
...had a tough week...got down to 205, but then discovered eating donuts, potato skins, chicken wings, chips and salsa and washing it down with a manhattan (rye whiskey, sweet vermouth and a maraschino cherry) is a surefire way to gain 3 pounds in less than 24 hours.

The donut was filched at work...the rest of the menu was illicitly enjoyed at City Vu during happy hour with an old friend from auld lang syne.

Don and I worked together at a wondrous place I no longer recognize...if only I could have fully appreciated back then how truly wondrous it was...insert heavy sigh here...

All that dietary skulduggery was almost worth it...and I'm back down to 206 now...

We soldier on.
later, mcm fans...


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