Wednesday, June 15, 2022

R.H.G.C., Part 2...

 

Welcome to Ryan's Hickory Golf Course...Part 2.

Just exiting the Members Only Clubhouse after a delicious repast - that Peaks and Tides Pinot Noir was delightful - dry but lightly sweet...and the cornbread...to die for...

Did you find something to gnaw on while you were waiting?

No?  Well here's a breadstick...I snagged a handful for a mid afternoon snack later, but I don't mind sharing with you...just let me break off a tiny little piece...there you go...don't never say I didn't do nuthin' for ya.

To recap, you got off to a rough start, going 6 over par for the first two holes, but righted the ship on #3 with a one putt for par.

Then, in a turn of events smacking of the supernatural, you chipped in for eagle on #4 and miraculously carded a hole in one on 5, putting you at +2 for the first 5 holes.

Now we're about to turn the corner and head back for holes 6 through 9.

Are you ready?  Need to check in with anyone?

Your probation officer?  Your bookie?

No?

Ok...let's head up the hill...


...to the 6th tee.



The shortest hole on the course, this is a par 3 and only 23 paces...


...but as you can see...

not the round one...the green is beyond the lamp post

...you've got a very narrow fairway with water on the left and trees to the right.  There's also a sand trap in play if you overshoot the green.

Accuracy is key here, and I usually hit an easy mashie...



...but of course, no one tells YOU what to do.

Have to admit it, you played that well and are on the green in one, but you and Calamity Jane do have a long putt there.

Don't want you to tense up or anything, but this green can be pretty fast and...


...yeah...well, a tap in for par and that leaves you at +2.

On to #7...



7 is unique...


...only 30 paces, a short par 4, but that's because it's a sharp dogleg left.


It's 2 short niblicks; hit your tee shot too hard and you'll be...


...yeah, like that.  You're behind the pine tree limbs now, and you've got the sand trap there if you try to go low...


Not bad...you chipped over the branches, but went a little long, so now you need a short niblick to get on the green for a chance to 1 putt for par...



Careful here...it's a tricky uphill putt that's going to break left...would hate to see you blow this and go to +3...


...but once again I see heaven has smiled on you, lending new meaning to the phrase "beginner's luck".

For crying out, loud...let's get over to #8.



8 is the only "repeat" on the course; similar to #3...


...but a par 4 with the white stones / small pond on your left and a sand trap fronting the green that's 34 paces away.


Not that it matters to your Highness, but I use my mid iron from the tee...



...and amazingly, you did, too.

Well played.  A short niblick will put you on the green with a chance to 2 putt for par.


Hate to say it, but nicely done.

No pressure here, but you're down to the last 2 holes, so if you don't birdie here you can pretty much kiss your chances of even par goodbye.

I mean, of course I'm rooting for you, it's just that...


Oh...wonderful...a 1 putt for birdie.  How nice.

You're at +1 now.

Get your butt over to the 9th tee.



And here we are on the final hole...#9...


...a par 4 of 33 paces with only 2 real "hazards"...the tree limbs overhead and the row of bushes on your left, giving you a narrow fairway.


Once again it's a mid iron from the tee, but what the heck, you can use a shovel if you want to...


Not bad, really...a short niblick will put you on the green in two, but it is only 6 feet wide so I won't be surprised if you hit it a little long...


But of course!  Mr. Rank Beginner is on in 2.

Remember, you're +1 so if you don't birdie right here you're going to finish over par today.

I'll just step back and let you and Calamity Jane work your magic...

(miss it!  miss it!  miss it!  miss it!  miss it!)



Dang it!!  I mean...um...yeah...




Well, there you have it...you've walked 9 on Ryan's Hickory Golf Course and somehow managed to come in at even par.

This is normally where we'd present you with a complimentary pen set, but we've been informed you're not allowed to have sharp things.

Now, about those unpaid parking tickets...

later, mcm fans...

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