He Is Not Here...

 

...for He is risen, as He said.  Come, see the place where the Lord lay.

    - Matthew 28:6

"The Greatest Man in history had no servants, yet they called him Master;

"No degree, yet they called him Teacher;

"No medicines, yet they called him Healer.

"He had no army, won no military battles and committed no crime...

"...yet kings feared Him, He conquered the world and they crucified Him between two thieves.

"He was buried in a tomb, but death could not hold Him;

"He rose again and lives today.

"His name is Jesus;

"Do you know Him?"

Happy Resurrection Day, y'all...hope you celebrated the most important event in human history with those you love.

It's been slow coming, but Spring is gradually showing signs of creeping across the countryside.

We now have some lovely purple flowers covering parts of our front lawn...

...and bright yellow daffodils sprouting in our back yard...

...along with gorgeous red bulbs proliferating in...

...uh...no, wait a minute; I'm wrong.

Those are just some old cherry tomatoes Karen asked me to throw in the woods, but I didn't quite get there.

Well, anyway; the point is Spring has sprung 'round these parts and that's a good thing.

In casual conversation I recently remarked to Karen,

"One of my favorite calendrical expeditions is the exhilarating, annual journey to which all of us acquiesce as we venture across that immutable boundary between the meteorologically barren wilds of March to the lushly vernal expanse of April!"

She replied, Say what??

Translation:

I'm happy when April finally arrives.

To which simplified sentiment everyone should heartily say, Amen.

Here in the northland we do have improving weather prospects; it's normally mid to late April when I'm finally able to get back on the links...

...often with <less than spectacular results>.

But there's another aspect to that boundary crossing that used to be a much bigger deal back in the day than it seems to be nowadays:

April 1st, aka April Fools Day, and especially the "mass market" variety.

One of my favorite April Fools pranks came courtesy of the traditionally stuffy BBC on April 1st, 1957:

the annual spaghetti harvest in Ticino, Switzerland

<Watch It Here>

No doubt their reputation for stiff upper lips contributed to the widespread acceptance of this farcical two and a half minute mockumentary on harvesting spaghetti.

However, for my money the all-time best April Fools Day prank was perpetrated in 1985 by the once great/now worthless woke trash sports mag, Sports Illustrated:

that's 6'4" jr. high art teacher Joe Berton in 1985, friend of SI photog Lane Stewart, posing as Finch.  Berton wears a size 14 shoe. 

You can <read about it here> but the gist was the NY Mets had discovered a reclusive, free spirited rookie prospect who practiced yoga, played the french horn, and could throw a 168 mph fastball.

George Plimpton was the author, which should have been a dead giveaway (check out <Paper Lion>), along with the brief paragraph on the very 1st page:

He's A Pitcher, Part Yogi And Part Recluse.  Impressively Liberated From Our Opulent Lifestyle, Sidd's Deciding About Yoga - And his Future In Baseball.

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY A(h) FIB

Widely believed - photographs in the article included actual Mets players and coaches (who were in on the gag) hanging out with "Sidd" - the issue created a firestorm of interest and activity, as both jubilant Mets fans and dispirited opponents scrambled to learn more about this freak of nature.

To SI's credit, they played it close to the vest, admitting nothing publicly, and let the furor ensue.

Then a week later in their next edition, they published a brief statement that Sidd Finch had retired from baseball; a week after that they admitted in print the whole thing was a hoax.

Ah, the good ol' days, before humor succumbed to the suffocating ideology of woke.

There hasn't been anything that comes close to either the BBC's or the former SI's pranks in years, for good reason.

With hordes of AWFL*s on high alert...

...searching high and low for new and exciting ways to be offended, most folks have simply opted to seek cover and stay out of the line of fire.

* AWFL - Affluent White Female Liberal

Speaking of retirement, let's put this edition of the AMC to bed with a big fat helping of 23 Skidoo:

like most problems...

...if you don't tend to them post haste...

...they tend to spread

#4 son and his wife (not to be confused with Ward and June Cleaver) gave us a very cool Christmas gift - a "Frameo" - which I finally got around to setting up.  it auto-downloads pics they specify so we get a constant slide show of them and their kids...super cool idea.

a few Easter and Spring motif decorations have cropped up lately...

...lightening the mood a bit...

...as we finally exit winter...

...and happily embrace the new season.

not mine, though I'm told there's a striking resemblance...just something our little eyes spied at the eye doctor's recently

dinnertime at the ok corral

and finally, the long awaited return of enjoying a Parodi Kings cigar from my vantage point in the command center

Judging by this Easter morning's cold and windy weather, April is stealing a page from March's playbook and has "come in like a lion".

No doubt 4 weeks from now we'll have warmed up nicely and April will "leave like a lamb".

It's interesting that Jesus is called both the "Lion" and the "Lamb".

You can trace this seemingly contradictory imagery from the beginning of the Bible to the end.

In Geneses 49:9,10 Jacob blesses his son Judah (from whom Jesus descended) as a lion that will retain the scepter.

In Revelation 5:5-9 the Lion of Judah opens the scroll of God's judgment and is worshipped as the Lamb of God who was slain to redeem us by His blood.

Today - Easter - we celebrate Jesus as the Lamb of God, our Redeemer and Perfect Sacrifice, who died on Calvary's cross for our sins and then rose to life again on that very first Easter Sunday.

But He's also the Lion of Judah who will one day return in glory and administer God's judgment on an unbelieving and unrepentant world.

By the grace of God, we all get to choose where we'll spend eternity; it's part of God's plan for "free will".

My advice?

Trust the Lamb of God at the foot of the cross in faith and enjoy the glories of heaven.

Otherwise you'll face the Lion of Judah in judgment, and you do not want to end up in the smoking section.

later, mcm fans...

Would You Take Driving Lessons...

 

...<from this man>?

It probably depends on what kind of driving we're talking about.

If it's this kind...

...then you bet.

There's a lot of hyperbole employed when it comes to Mr. W.

Much beloved by his devoted fans, he's often described as "the greatest golfer of all time".

That is objectively false; in the modern era Jack Nicklaus was better and has the stats to prove it.

Besides his unmatched record of 18 majors, he was the longest and most accurate player on the tour into his 40's.

Give today's equipment to the Golden Bear in his prime (1960’s, 1970’s) and he'd be driving the ball to the spot of his choosing the same as he did during his career - except it would be 400 yards away.

But Mr. W is obviously one of the best, and he was without dispute a transformative figure.

His youthful charge to the top of the world's ranking was breathtaking to watch, and he changed the way golfers trained.

Running for cardio, weightlifting for strength - an entire generation followed his lead to a more powerful and athletic game.

So learning today's game from him would be a rare privilege.

However, if you're talking about this kind of driving...

his parallel parking skills definitely need work

...well, you might wanna take a pass.

His most recent dustup with law is the latest in what's getting to be a long list of examples of very bad decision making.

Obviously impaired, he refused a urinalysis so it's unknown exactly what drugs were in his system.

But he did have a couple of hydrocodone pills in his pocket, so that's sort of a clue, hey?

In short, if TW doesn't make a serious change and soon, someone's going to get killed.

He spent the first 15 years of his career polishing his legend; the last 15 tarnishing it.

He doesn't need any more sympathy or coddling due to past accomplishments.

He needs to be held to account.

He's 50 now; old enough to know, do and be better.

So here's some friendly - and obvious - advice from a nobody to a golf $uperstar / billionaire:

Grow up and get help.

Before it's too late.

Happy (?) to report we are 29 days into our Vernal Equinox Death March (read: Spring diet)...

...with only 11 days to go until Freedom!  Sweet Freedom!

Unfortunately - and through no fault of my own - I seem to have stalled out at 195 lbs...about 5 lbs more than I should be.

There are some who might say it's because I occasionally add just a tiny bit of spice...

 

...to my otherwise bland fare of lentil soup and lima beans, but I say that's horse hockey.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go make sure Karen's not trying to steal any of my contraband lima beans.

The 3rd of the highly anticipated "No Brains" rallies took place Saturday, attracting only the best of humanity...

...as they banded together in joyful unity proclaiming the obvious:

There are brainless twits everywhere you look.

Here are the best and brightest of our local stars:

In this case "crowds" is a euphemism for "disaffected losers", but you get the idea.

Yeah!  No Kings!

But, uh, wasn't that really more of a Biden / democrat thing?

If Trump was a king, he wouldn't allow any No Kings protests, would he?

And wouldn't the DHS be fully funded with no government shutdown and no long lines at the airports due to TSA workers not being paid?

As king, Trump would just wave the wand and make whatever he wanted to happen, happen.

Right?

Well, that's ok, don't get your undersized cerebral cortex in a knot thinking about all those inconvenient facts and stuff.

To drum up support for their make-believe dress up day, some truly big name celebs joined in the fun:

The gray haired creature pointing her bony fingers is none other than Hanoi Jane, reminding us she's been an America hating traitor ever since 1972...

...when she fraternized with our enemies in North Vietnam, even posing on one of their gun boats that was used to kill American soldiers during that conflict.

The American Left:

"Proudly lining up on the wrong side of history since 1861" ™

Slim pickings in the 23 Skidoo department this week, so I say let's just skip it.

a hopeful sign of early spring

a less than hopeful sign - a mole, now deceased

deer at dawn

the recent infestation of Aldi Gnomes continues, tucked amongst the flora within the Castle Frankenstein

Of course, it's rare for anyone to listen to, let alone do what I say.

This was a tough week.

As I've done for each of the past 4 years, I once again spent time missing my #2 son, contemplating his life, our time together here on earth and my failures as his father.

It's one thing to bandy about theological terms when contemplating lofty concepts of God and His creation.

But when you bring the ethereal down to where you actually live and put shoe leather on it - then it begs the intimidating question:

What do you believe?

When it's no longer pie in the sky in the sweet by and by -

When it becomes personal because it affects you right now, where you live -

What do you really believe?

I appreciate what Paul wrote to the believers in Rome when he was explaining salvation is based on faith, not on the law.

When speaking of Abraham, the father of the faithful, to whom God promised a son when Abraham was 100 years old and his wife Sarah was 99, Paul wrote this:

20  He staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God;

21  And being fully persuaded that what He had promised, He was able also to perform.

    Romans 4:20,21

When life lands a body blow, we don't let it stagger us in our faith.

We get up, dust ourselves off and get back in the race.

We're called to be strong, knowing God delivers on His promise of eternal life through faith in Christ.

We soldier on.

later, mcm fans...