Saturday, May 21, 2022

My Summer Staycation...

 

...just got underway.

Taking Fridays off starting now through August, and those 4 day work weeks / 3 day weekends are wonderful.

So...how did I begin my first 3 day weekend of the summer?

Come on...hickory golfing of course!


Oops...looks like some kind of technical issue...



I'm sure the techno-geeks will figure things out shortly.

In the meantime...my round wasn't a total disaster - first tee shot with my mid iron was great, actually; right on the edge of the green.

As I walked the 150 yards to my ball I was thinking I was on my way to an enjoyable round.

Unfortunately, every tee shot after that was a push to the right.

As a result, I ended up losing 4 - count 'em FOUR  balls.

One of them hit a stone on the edge of the fairway and did a crazy right angle boing off into the hinterlands.

Another I lost in plain sight; I saw where it landed to the right of the green, just on the edge of the rough, but could I find it?

The next guy that came along probably leaned down, picked it up and pocketed a brand new Callaway supersoft golf ball.

The other two landed in deep rough on the right of the fairway and I didn't even bother.



Along the way I managed to 3 putt 8 out of 9 greens, and my short game was nothing to write home about.

Now that I think of it...

My round was in fact a total disaster.

On the other hand, don't you believe those ugly rumors that they banned me from...

What?

Hold on a sec...this note just handed me...


Hmm...seems the FCC has weighed in and labeled the pictures of my round as "unfit for human consumption".

The nerve of those guys...they probably can't even tell a mashie from a niblick!

can you?


But then again, who am I to argue with the genii...


...that populate our federal bureaucracies?

So...nothing to see here folks, it's all over now, move along, that's right, keep moving...



In the Pet Peeve department...



...what is this man doing?

Yes, of course...he's supposed to be shaving.

Specifically, he's pretending to shave with a straight razor.

Only problem?

He's got the sharp side up, so at best he's giving his whiskers a little tickle, but he's certainly not shaving them off.

You don't put the sharp side of your wimpy little safety razor UP, do you?

What's worse, these shaving scenes are almost always placed in historical dramas to create an authentic look and feel.

They want to capture the gritty zeitgest of the times and get the details right; it bolsters their credibility while retelling the event they're chronicling.

Unless, of course, they get it wrong.

Then it just makes them look lazy and dumb.

Seriously, they couldn't take 5 minutes in the interest of historical accuracy and watch a video on shaving with a straight razor?

That particular scene is from the movie Anthropoid, which tells the riveting story of the Czech resistance underground during WWII, assassinating the Nazi pig, General Reinhard Heydrich.

The movie is worth your time; just get up and grab some more corn chips when that ridiculous shaving scene appears.

So...how do you do it correctly?

note the sharp side of the blade "down"


That's from a pretty good <instructional video> 



In other news, there is progress on the next green:

wednesday evening, just getting started removing the top layer of sod



saturday afternoon after spreading a yard of crushed limestone

Next I'll dig out a 4" diameter hole and put a small paint can there as a "placeholder".

After that I'll do 8 or 9 reps of compacting the crushed limestone with that 13# hand compactor you see in the top right corner of the picture.

Then I'll spread a bunch of sand over it and compact it some more.

At that point I'll remove the paint can and replace it with the actual cup for the hole, and compact around that area to be sure it's flat and level.

Finally I'll lay the 6'x12' short pile outdoor carpet over it and spike it down with garden edging.

Last step is to take a utility knife and carefully cut out the hole and put the flag in place:


Yep, even though there are 3 greens already in place, this is going to be hole #1 on the course.

Lord willing, hole #5 will be in place sometime in June.

Hole # 6...well, still in negotiations with the Lady of the Manor, since that one goes in the front yard...along with 7, 8 and 9...and now you're talking about curb appeal, resale value, etc etc etc.

She says that's going to cost me an arm and a leg; I've offered a kneecap and three toes.

Besides, this is a matter of principle!

I say you've got to be an illiterate hillbilly...



...if you don't want a 9 hole wiffle golf course in your yard!

More to come.



But not now; I'm tired and headed to bed.

You know the way out, and no, it doesn't go by the liquor cabinet.

Now go on; git.

later, mcm fans

* Crass Commercialism Corner *

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Saturday, May 14, 2022

Gotta Love...


...the month of May...when the mercury rises and life bursts into full bloom again.

The ornamental apple tree we planted in memory of Ryan is glorious right now...


...as all of Nature blesses us with a florescent symphony of colors, foliage and blossoms.

Oh yeah...and pollen...


...lots and lots of pollen.

Oh well, it's the price some of us pay for this beautiful weather.

Wasn't so very long ago we were pollen-free but enduring this...


...so pass the Zyrtec (and a tissue) and quit yer kvetching.



Guess who provided a couple more signs for Ryan's golf course?







Cool, right?

Mid Century Modern Tee signs for each hole; two down, three (or four, depending on progress this summer) to go.

Thank you, Holly.

We rock on.



We're behind in our outside work this year...lost at least 2 weeks with the crappy April weather, but a certain slave driver I know...

the mistress of the landscaping

...has been working someone like a borrowed mule to catch up...

the borrowed mule

...and she's on to my usual hidey holes so there's been no escape.

We are making progress...








...in spite of my best efforts.


We've now arrived at the part where I take a formal bow, announce in my best French accent, "Ta da!" and you all clap in wild appreciation for the awe inspiring events you've just experienced...


Yeah...like that.

later, mcm fans.

* Crass Commercialism Corner *

In the "so convenient you can't stand it" department, you can purchase my books here and on Amazon.com.

Get your paperback books here:



Get your ebooks here:


Saturday, May 7, 2022

If You Love Mid Century Modern...

 

...you've got to visit Atomic Avocado Designs

They're the ones who made that beautiful mcm sign in memory of my son Ryan.

AAD is run by a lovely lady named Holly...


...who is not only a talented artist / designer, but also a very nice person.

had to include my beloved Polaroid SX-70 version

They have an impressive array of classic mcm signs, all of them gorgeous and totally appropriate for your mid century modern home.

We'll be buying more soon; you will, too, once you visit their website.

Thank you, Holly!



We continue to struggle along in this, the Spring that wasn't, but at least we now have the pool open for the season:

well, not yet but hope springs eternal, or so sayeth Alexander Pope

According to our local meteorological miscreants, aka the Wood TV weather staff, we're finally due for some much needed sunshine and temps in the 70's / low 80's...


...but obviously, we ain't there yet.

Even so, I have swung my hickories on Ryan's course a few times already...

it may look like fall, but that's from this spring

...and my last time out I actually hung around par.

Ok, I admit that's not saying a whole lot on my little wiffle golf course, but come on...par...

Not sure if the 2 glasses of chardonnay I quaffed before my round lubricated my swing just the right amount, or else dulled my senses to the point I stopped overthinking things...but either way, I now have a new pre-golf ritual.



Cheers.



Not much shaking in the bowling department...

kickin' it old school

...no major breakthroughs nor quantum leaps in my scores, but I am learning a few things along the way.

Talked to a pro bowler many moons ago when I lived in Taxachusetts, and he said he spent hours practicing his first step...



...repeating it over and over and over again.

I remember being amazed.  It's just a small part of the form...how could you spend hours practicing that ?

No one ever accused me of being a quick study, but all these years later I finally get it.

I use a 3 step approach - one less thing to screw up - so my first step looks more like that 2nd picture, but the principle is the same:

If you start wrong, you're going to end wrong.

And you don't have to be off by much...just a little left or right, short or long, and voila!

You've embarked on an exciting adventure into Overcompensation Land.

Before you started you were all lined up and ready to roll your ball over the correct board...



...but now, having misstepped, the control center nestled comfortably between your ears kicks into hyperdrive in an effort to recalibrate all sensors to get things back on track.



As your brain frantically sends out millions of instructions, millions of synapses obediently relay millions of panicky corrections.

Amidst all that frenetic neuromuscular activity, what do you think your chances are of putting the ball where you originally intended?



"Zero" is the correct answer.*

*exception if you're young:  the magic elixir of youth is a cure all for many things (and an inflammatory accelerant for many others).

So guess who's spent some time practicing his first step recently?

I hope you're taking notes here...



...that's gold!




And finally, this is Mother's Day weekend, so do the right thing and remember Mom...



...even if it hurts.



Happy Mom's Day, y'all.



I know, you can hardly believe your good fortune...



...but it's true.

In spite of the exorbitant excess of wisdom I've already showered upon you, there's even more.

Buckle up and brace yourself for another excitin' sprint through the Parting Shots Department...

threw this in as a reminder of where we were just a few months ago




mr. groundhog finally made an appearance




sorry...so dumb it's funny




aka "frog" (remember, never use big words when diminutive ones suffice)




Daffy and Daisy were the first ones in the pool this year




son-in-law Pete, daughter Amy, and the Lady of the Manor




Love to keep going but I've got important stuff to do...




Shut the door on the way out, please.

later, mcm fans...

* Crass Commercialism Corner *

In the "so convenient you can't stand it" department, you can purchase my books here and on Amazon.com.

Get your paperback books here:



Get your ebooks here: