Saturday, August 26, 2017

Merry Christmas Y'all...

...and Happy Holly Days...thought this stuff wasn't supposed to show up until Christmas time, but here it is in all it's Glo-ry in front of our wall.  It's pretty, but no thank you...not ready for Christmas yet.

However, the change of seasons is fast approaching...temps are dropping into the low 50's at night as the days continue to get shorter...O joy...
...but it does make fires in the early evening enjoyable...

So I shelved my book, "On Being A a pajama boy world", mainly because it wasn't the book I intended to produce.
It's kind of a long explanation how I could end up completing a 200+ page manuscript and then conclude, "hey!  this isn't what I wanted to write!"

Sounds absurd, but there is a logical progression that occurred at a turning point when I made a conscious decision - the wrong decision I believe now - to keep moving forward in this "new direction".

Without delving into the minutia, the high level explanation is I veered into theological fields I didn't originally intend to plow...

...and as we all know, politics and religion are two subjects capable of eliciting very strong emotional reactions from the hoi polloi, the great unwashed, the huddled masses yearning to breathe free...

As an example, I asked a competent professional single woman who makes no claim to being a church person if she'd like to read the manuscript before I published it.
Before she did so, I would have told you we were on friendly terms.
Afterwards, not so much.
In fact she was so incensed by what I'd written she told me in very specific language what she thought of me.

I won't repeat the two word epithet here, but will note both words begin with “a” and the first one is “arrogant”.
And while none of that changed my mind about anything I'd written, I decided there are better, more capable men and women to carry whatever banner I may have been waving with that book.
So I've filed it for now under the "potential re-write" category, because I may in the future revisit this subject in the way I had originally intended...pointed, but lighthearted...bc I do believe we have an epidemic of pajama boys skipping about our collapsing society.
When you're 25 years old and the biggest thing you have going is capturing legendary pokemons and choosing the right facial hardware to complement your man bun, something has gone terribly wrong.
It's both hilarious and tragic all at the same time, and I may make attempt number two at chronicling this sad estate.
For now I'm turning my attention to "When A Cardinal Appears, Volume 2"
That's the cover for the first book, so I'll have to change that, but basically it will be more short stories I've written, along with some poems.
I'm trying to start something new, but so far the house renovation is taking up too much time and energy after work.  From a creativity standpoint the well may not be dry, but it's definitely low.
Next best thing?  Revisiting past stories and gathering them into book form.  It's a step or two down the creativity ladder...requires some writing in the "author's insights" sections, but not as much energy as writing new stuff does.
Hopefully this will prime the pump.
I't's Saturday morning with much to do on this beautiful late summer / early fall day, so...

later, mcm fans...

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Holy Fountain...

...Of "Man Is That Thing Ever Heavy" has to weigh 300 pounds altogether...thankfully it's in three pieces but still...the base and shell part have to be more than 200 achin' back.

Karen wanted it out of the little pond in our courtyard...that's going to get filled in - after I jackhammer a drainage hole in the bottom...and we're going to put a pool in front of that area - but still within the courtyard.

So Jack and Jill, engaged in a questionable water activity, had to the front yard, apparently.

In the heat of the day on Saturday...
...ok, it's in the direct sunlight, but it was still pretty hot...
...we were treated to a turkey parade...
...until the deer feeder opened fire on them...
...those little dots under the feeder are kernels of dried corn - deer feed, apparently - being hurled at a high rate of speed across the yard.

This happens 4x per day, at 6 am, 10 am, 2 pm and 6 pm.  The turkeys were pelted at precisely 2 pm on Saturday afternoon...they squawked appropriately and turkey trotted their feathered behinds out of there.

You do NOT want to be standing next to the deer feeder when it unloads; this I know from experience.

Right after I got it set up I decided I should test it out, so I knelt down and pressed the "test" button.

I noticed it started a countdown...10...9...8...

Around about 5 it occurred to me that maybe they gave you time to back up a bit so you didn't get deer feed dropped on your I backed up a few steps.

3...2...1...and then my deer feeder turned assault weapon commenced firing hard dried kernels of corn at me, pinging them off my arms, legs, noggin, etc.

Naturally I engaged in a dignified if somewhat hasty retreat ("what the...? ouch!  holy crap!  OUCH!") but had to put almost 20 yards between me and the loaded weapon to get out of bruise missile range.

If any deer are peacefully feeding when that thing launches they're going to be in for a surprise.

"Honey?  Why are there unconscious deer lying in our yard?"

Bumped into an old acquaintance while golfing today...
...Deuce Mulligan was staking out the course again.  His pal Bixby left him hanging so I acquiesced to his request for a round of 9 together.

That, plus the fact I forgot my bag stand / walking stick, left me a little flustered...hated to lay my bag down in the dew of the morning grass, but without my bag stand...
...I had no choice.

Yep, weak as they are, those are my excuses for today's round.

"Still choking the cobra I see," Deuce commented, as I put a death grip on my mashie in preparation for my tee shot.  "And what's with hitting a mashie from the tee?  Ain't you never heerd of a spoon or a brassie before?"

"You play your way, I'll play mine," I hissed as I topped it and hit a worm burner 60 yards.  At least I was in the fairway.

"Whew," he offered, shaking his head sadly.
"If you pay attention boy, I'll show you how it's done."

I wanted to tell him, "if you see a boy around here you kick his a**"...

...but he was already striding confidently to the tee where he struck his brassie 180 yards straight down the fairway while I stared, 50 shades of green with envy.

He nodded, a quick jerk of his head, then looked over at me for approval.

None was forthcoming.

He whistled and joked his way through 9 while I stomped and swore under my breath through the same but very different course.

When we were finally holing out he drained a 20 footer for a birdie while I 3 putted for a number nowhere near the same zip code as par.

"Well, thanks for the round," he offered as he hoisted his pencil bag and headed for the parking lot.

"Still driving a Model T I see!" I called after him.
It was petty, a low blow...after being soundly spanked on the golf course it was my sad attempt to needle him since he'd told me last time he was hoping to be riding in style in a 1931 Model A Roadster by now.
He stopped in his tracks, then slowly turned to face me.

"Hey buddy, ain't you heerd?  There's a Depression on!'

With that he strode to his T...
...cranked it a few times, then climbed in when it roared to life and bounced away down that old dirt road.

later, mcm fans..

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Sunday, August 6, 2017

A Crack Team...

...of ace mechanics...laboring tirelessly to fix what ails Mr. T.  With this group, Mr. T may in fact be a goner.

Like the faux mechanics above, I need more practice.  What you see is the result of my first time messing around with some picture overlay stuff.  Kinda fun.

Another week has clicked on by and here we are in August.  For those of you wondering if it's time to panic over the rapidly disappearing summer...
...the answer is YES...when you can tear off two of three months from your calendar that traditionally define "summer"...'s that time.

So don't just sit there, DO something...get outside when the sun shines and embrace each day...smell the flowers, listen to the birds, jump in that lake, catch those fish, golf, kayak, bike, hike, beach it, sit by the fire at night, stargaze, take that vacation, skinny dip, drive with the top down, play horseshoes, bocce ball, croquet, barbeque on the grill...whatever yanks your chain and blows your hair back...

So taking my own advice, I hit the links with my hickories and enjoyed a pleasant stroll through the country...
A one putt would have given me a bogey on three, but I settled for a double bogey.

Settled?  Who am I kidding?  When I double bogey a hole I'm doing handstands and cartwheels on the inside.

Ran into one of my distant relatives on the tee at four...
Family ties notwithstanding, I told him to beat it...I golf alone...

Here's my lie after a less than stellar tee shot on par 3 hole five... least it was in the fairway, but I hit my mashie fat from the tee and so was shorter than usual  If I hit it right I can strike it about 125 or 130 yards...and since all I use is my mashie, niblick and a putter, I rarely have to ponder complex questions re: club selection.

This was definitely a niblick shot, about 70 yards out from the pin.

I'd love to write that I chipped in from here for a I will, since that is in fact what happened.

Local media are referring to this as "The Miracle On Five"...well, they might if anyone besides me was there to see it.

Of course, they would also have penned "The Disaster On Six" if they'd hung around for the next hole, but thankfully there's been a media blackout on that.

Apart from the miraculous (for me) shot on five, my best hole was probably nine.  It's a dog leg par 4, and I hit 3 nice shots with my mashie...a short niblick shot put me on the green in 4 and a one putt for a bogey finished my round.

At that point as I gathered up the tools of my ignorance and strolled serenely off the green, all was well with the world...I sure hope the rest of you guys don't screw it up.

This should be a big week on the house reno...completing phase 1 electrical, having kitchen countertops installed, and finishing up the plumbing issues so we'll have two functional bathrooms.  O happy day.

But now, it's cigar time...

later, mcm fans...

* Crass Commercialism Corner *

In the "so convenient you can't stand it" department, you can purchase my books here and on!

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Thank you!