Atomic Monster Cafe: On Being A Man...

...In A Pajama Boy World...

I like that title, and I'm kicking around some ideas for a book...any and all feedback re: what it means to be a man in today's world is welcome.

My intention at this point is not to write a combative tome decrying attacks on masculinity or whining about society's confused messaging on all things gender related.

Rather I'm leaning more toward something light hearted, fun and humorous that embraces and celebrates masculinity.

Yes, I know...there are haters everywhere...one prominent feminist was asked recently what she would do if she woke up one day as a man.

"I'd kill myself," the brainless twit responded.

Though some might be tempted to applaud if she followed through on her empty headed response I don't count myself in their number.

I wish her well and am just thankful she's not in fact part of my gender; we have plenty of issues already without adding her obvious problems into the mix.

Really, I have no desire to raise a banner decrying idiots and malcontents. If stupidity is God's way of thinning the herd -

not an actual picture of our heroine as far as I know

- I'm happy to leave that in His capable hands.

No, I'm more inclined to ignore the haters and keep it upbeat and positive.

Take shaving for example. While some men have abandoned the practice altogether...

Hans Langseth, possessor of the world's longest beard when he died in 1927...it was 17.5 feet long.

...most of us men have to come to terms with the concept of scraping whiskers off our face on a regular basis.

After years of treating this repetitive task as drudgery, I decided instead to embrace my daily ritual as a uniquely masculine event.

Enter straight razor shaving.

my geneva cutlery straight razor

It's not exactly a lost art - shaving with a straight razor has enjoyed something of a resurgence recently - but neither is it the dominant shaving method of choice.

There's a learning curve and it definitely takes practice to do it right.

It can be dangerous if you're not careful.

do NOT get a shave and haircut from this man if you've pissed him off...

It takes longer than shaving with a safety razor.

You need to maintain your razor by stropping it daily and sharpening it occasionally.

And while you will certainly get a close shave with a good straight razor, no matter what its avid (and in some cases, even rabid) proponents may claim, you will not get as close a shave as you can with some of today's multi-blade safety razors.
(Sorry fanatics, that's just the obvious truth.)

So why do it?

Lots of reasons, I suppose. Here's 4 to get you started:

1) it's enjoyable to master a uniquely masculine and utilitarian discipline from years gone by.

The fact that it takes some practice and skill to do it well is rewarding.

2) I don't want my face to feel as smooth as a baby's butt; that's what babies' butts are for.

I like having a 5 o'clock shadow.

3) it's conversational gold at cocktail parties when you want to impress that certain someone.

She: How'd you get that 4 inch scar on your cheek?

You: I shave with a straight razor!

(I got you started; you're on your own for the rest of the conversation.)

4) being forced to take a few more minutes in the morning isn't all bad.

Slow down, for crying out loud. Does everything in today's world have to be a mad panic? Take a little time and do it right.

So that's not enough for an entire book On Being A Man...but it does merit its own chapter.

later, mcm fans...

* Crass Commercialism Corner *