Ah, March...

...how we love thee!

Even though you are one of the two ugliest months in the year (November, you know who you are),  we are delighted to see you!

Besides having the tremendous advantage of being not-February...

...you also bring us more daylight with the time change...

...delights like St. Patrick's day...

...and the first day of Spring...

...so we forgive your dirty snow banks and barren, leafless trees for the hope you provide that winter will indeed come to an end...

...eventually.

With all the sunshine and milder temperatures we've had recently, I thought I might try swinging my hickories in the back yard...but when I walked into my dining room, this is what I saw...

...needless to say I was shocked - shocked! - by this unseemly collusion between normally inanimate objects.

Thankfully I was able to break it up without too much difficulty, but Sir Kitschalot did have to spend some time in the timeout position...

...while I took my wayward hickories and swatted some wiffle golf balls.

Quite enjoyable...probably another month before the courses open but at least it's within shouting distance now.

To help you deal with the boredom that accompanies the enforced COVID lockdowns, I personally directed my department of expert researchers here at the the AMC...

...to scour our extensive vault of historical records and compose the definitive list of the best movies you absolutely need to watch while you're hiding out from the Attack Of The Monster Virus...

...to wit:

#1  The Artist...

...the absolute pinnacle of silent movie making - filmed in 2011 - and a delightful love story with a happy ending.

Jean DuJardin won Best Actor and Berenice Bejo should have won Best Actress for their brilliant performances.

You could use a happy ending right about now, couldn't you?

#2  Their Finest...

...the spectacular 2016 film that tells the story of tragedy and triumph during Great Britain's "finest hour"...The Blitz of 1940 in WWII.

Gemma Arterton, Sam Claflin and Bill Nighy all give exceptional performances.

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll be inspired at this "movie within a movie".

Great story telling at its best.

#3  City Lights...

...a Charlie Chaplin masterpiece from 1931.

The "Little Tramp" at his comic best in a heartwarming story of love and philanthropy.

Be inspired by a spirit of giving and selfless love, and laugh along the way.

#4  Casablanca...

...the 1942 classic directed by Micheal Curtiz starring Bogey and Bergman.

World weary cynic Rick Blaine runs a saloon in Vichy controlled Casablanca during WWII where "...everybody comes to Rick's".

And of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, who walks into his but Ilsa Lund...Rick's long lost flame from days gone by.

But...now she's with her husband, Victor Laszlo, leader of the Czech resistance who's being hunted by the Nazis.

Rick may be able to help the fugitive couple, but...will he?

And does anyone actually say "Play it again, Sam" in the movie?

You've got to watch it to find out...and right after you do, be sure to cue up...

#5  Play It Again Sam...

...Woody Allen's hilarious 1972 send up of the film noir classic, Casablanca.

Allen takes the ability to laugh at himself to previously unknown heights and you'll be laughing right along with him.

Marvel at Jerry Lacey's dead on portrayal of the hard boiled Bogart at his wisecracking, tough guy best.

And of course, watch for the tip o' the hat to the famous Casablanca ending.

#6  The Rocketeer...

...Joe Johnston's 1991 sleeper that turned into a cult classic, and why not?

Set in 1930's Los Angeles, it's got adventure, romance, Hollywood stars, gangsters and a handsome pilot (Cliff, played Billy Campbell) who gets to be a comic book hero.

Plus, he gets the girl (Jenny, played by Jennifer Connelly) before the credits roll.

As a bonus, you'll finally find out the real story of how the HOLLYWOODLAND sign became just HOLLYWOOD.

What are you waiting for?

You're not afraid of flying, are you?

#7  Testament Of Youth...

...released in 2014, this is James Kent's powerful portrayal of Vera Brittain's moving autobiography set during WWI.

Alicia Vikander plays Vera and gives a luminous performance as an independent and talented young woman determined to make her mark on the world.

Sadly, the world has other ideas.

By the autumn of 1914 WWI has burst forth with all its unprecedented fury, shattering hopes, dreams and lives.

Her men march off to war - fiance, brother, friend - and she soon follows them as a volunteer nurse in the bloody conflict.

The acting is excellent, the cinematography gorgeous, but keep the Kleenex handy for this one, folks.

A meaningful and thought provoking experience.

I've figured out many a plot twist while enjoying a good cigar...

...and in fact, I hear one calling me now, so I leave you with this important reminder...

...life is better down that old dirt road...

later, mcm fans...

It's Time For...

...Winter's Return...or so it seems this morning.

What a difference a day makes...yesterday we enjoyed delightful sunshine...

...which naturally inspired the artiste within! 

Ok, so it wasn't my idea; Karen pointed that out to me.

She: "Look, isn't that pretty?  You should get a shot of that for your blog."

Me: "What for?"

She: "It's beautiful!"

Me: "What is?"

She: "The tree of course!"

Me: "C'mon, it's just a tree..."

She: "So much more!

"See how the shadow of the trunk makes a path through the snow running up the wall illustrating the concept of perspective?

"Then all the branches spread out gracefully across the wall creating depth.

"And finally the real trees from the woods blend together with the shadow tree on the wall forming the top and signifying the illusory union of opposites."

Me: "Um...I knew that."

She: "Then what are you waiting for?"

Me:  "Well...I'm waiting for the viscosity of the diffused light to segue more definitively from daytime to evening so the -"

She:  "Just do it!"

Me, mumbling:  "'Go do this, go do that!'  I'm telling you, one of these days..."

She: "What are you mumbling?"

Me: "Nothing, dear!  Just on my way to take a picture..."

Did something we don't normally do, and that's watch a movie by bona fide nut case Quentin Tarantino.

It's not only a political thing; I just don't find his subject matter nor his devotion to profanity and cartoon violence in prodigious proportion appealing.

But last night we broke with tradition and cued up...

...Once Upon A Time In Hollywood...and mostly because I was intrigued by his concept that the Manson family murders in August of 1969 were a line of demarcation...

currently burning in hell...

...a definitive event that ended one era and ushered in a new one.

There's some truth there I believe...the shocking barbarity and perverse evil of those crimes served as an exclamation point at the end of a decade filled to overflowing with rapid and often violent change on many fronts.

As society continued to devolve through the 70's and beyond, it's appropriate in many ways to see that seminal event as the kickoff to much of what followed.

And the movie itself is ok...high production values of course - with a budget of $95 million you oughta be able to pull off a few whizbangs here and there - and many tips o' the hat to iconic music, movies, people and events from that bygone era.

I thought Brad Pitt was especially good as the oxymoronic low key / adrenaline junkie drifting through life, existing simply amidst excess and welcoming danger with nary an uptick in heart rate...

...and apparently the wizards of smart at AMPAS (Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences) agreed since he won the big O for best supporting actor...happy for him to get this honor, his ignorant acceptance speech notwithstanding.

Even DiCaprio -

(taking a much needed break from his climate change preaching tour where he flies around the world in his private jet, massive carbon footprint and stunning lack of self-awareness in tow, instructing the faithful in his "good for thee but not for me" gospel)

- gave a credible turn as a one time star descending into "has been" status at a pace that both befuddles and ages him far too quickly.

And the alternate ending for the Tate-LaBianca murders was a rewarding piece of fiction...it's what we all wished had happened to the despicable Tex Watson...

...who inexplicably has been supported by taxpayer dollars for 50 years now.

Watching the Tarantino version of his ending, being ripped to shreds by a pit bull and dispatched by an acid tripping Brad Pitt, is far preferable to the sad reality of the truth.

Why this scum sucking piece of scat - or any of the so called Manson family members for that matter - is still drawing breath today is incomprehensible.

One of the few times I've found myself in wholehearted agreement with QT.

So...final analysis...is this worth 2 hours and 41 minutes of your life?

Meh...probably not.

If you're a history buff and care about seeing Hollywood magic that substitutes DiCaprio in place of McQueen in a scene from "The Great Escape"...

...or seeing Margot Robbie as Sharon Tate watching herself on screen in "The Wrecking Crew" with Dean Martin...

...well then...maybe.

Otherwise, go outside, look all around you at God's creation, and give thanks for the precious, fleeting gift of life.

You'll be happier at the end of that exercise than you will be having spent almost 3 hours knocking around inside QT's skewed vision of the world.

Warning: if you do opt to watch this movie, try not to get any on you.  It's messy and it stains.

Behold the time draweth nigh.

In fact, it's here:

later, mcm fans...

Happy Birthday...

...to my beloved...and can you believe it? 

Karen with her twin sister Barbie...

What?  You thought I was going to tell you? 

As Tweety Bird used to opine...

As part of her birthday celebration we enjoyed dinner at the Irish pub...

...a good time was had by all.

And because it was Karen's birthday we watched "City Slickers"...

...which as she correctly pointed out, is truly a great birthday movie.

How could it not be?

One of the writers is a guy named Babaloo Mandel...

...uh, no...not Baba Looey from Quick Draw McGraw...this guy right here...

...and besides having a great name (c'mon, Babaloo?  fuggedaboudit...) he's been involved in a ton of really good movies...Splash, Parenthood, Multiplicity, Forget Paris...the list goes on.

In City Slickers, our hero - Billy Crystal - is turning 39...and as he says to his boss:

"Did you ever reach a point in your life where you say, this is the best I'm ever gonna look, the best I'm ever gonna feel, the best I'm ever gonna do...and it ain't that great?"

To which his boss responds, "Happy birthday".

It's a wonderful movie, filled with dozens of hilarious one liners as well as poignant moments of people dealing with real life and the challenges of relationships.

And that great character actor, Volodymyr Palahniuk...

You might know him as Jack Palance...

...won an Oscar for his performance as the grizzled but intimidating trail boss, Curly.

Do yourself a favor and watch this classic from 1991...even if it's not your birthday...

Making pretty good progress on Chrysalis...

...I'm at 20,000 words and counting...will probably bring it in around 30,000, so solidly in the novella category.

Plus I've got my ending now...at least that's what I'm telling myself...feels like it fits, but we'll see when I get there...sometimes a "great" idea loses its luster upon closer examination.

More to come...

Looks like Ol' Man Winter is attempting a one day comeback...

...though I'm not sure why he's bothering...if Mr. Weatherman is correct, it's going to be in the 40's the next couple of days.

And if something's going to make a comeback, how about Spring instead?

Then we could enjoy one of those smooooth British Wills' Cigarettes...

...while swinging the hickories with greats like George Duncan...

...or J.H. Taylor...

...ah, the good ol' days...

I suppose I ought to mention there's a convention of millionaires this weekend being held in one of the southern states.

These overpaid, whiny, self-important crybabies will participate in a game, the outcome of which will have no meaningful impact on anything of significance in the real world.

Their confab won't solve any of the country's manifold problems, won't advance solutions to thorny issues like homelessness, the opioid crisis, wage stagnation for blue collar workers, the looming potential of a world wide pandemic that is the coronavirus outbreak...

...but they will get an enormous amount of attention, and of course money, for staging this gaudy spectacle, this tribute to worshiping at the altar of excess.

When it's over, the winners will then opine publicly about whether they should condescend to meet with the most powerful man in the western world, and a sycophantic press will megaphone their every incoherent, grammatically incorrect thought, no matter how mundane or trite.

Ah, the Super Bowl...from its humble beginnings in 1966, when the greatest quarterback of the era was paid the whopping sum of $100,000...

...to today's surreal extravaganza with quarterbacks pulling in 10s of millions of dollars...

I enjoy both reading and writing fiction, but alas, I cannot relate to fantasy in this appalling proportion, so I shan't be watching this overhyped trifle.

It's akin to finding a child's plaything in the corner and then building a cathedral around it so it can be worshipped...

...well, except that building the cathedral would  be far less expensive than this theater of the bizarre known as the Super Bowl.

I have heard some of the commercials are mildly amusing.

On the other hand, if the Detroit Lions were playing...

later, mcm fans...