He Is Not Here...

 

...for He is risen, as He said.  Come, see the place where the Lord lay.

    - Matthew 28:6

"The Greatest Man in history had no servants, yet they called him Master;

"No degree, yet they called him Teacher;

"No medicines, yet they called him Healer.

"He had no army, won no military battles and committed no crime...

"...yet kings feared Him, He conquered the world and they crucified Him between two thieves.

"He was buried in a tomb, but death could not hold Him;

"He rose again and lives today.

"His name is Jesus;

"Do you know Him?"

Happy Resurrection Day, y'all...hope you celebrated the most important event in human history with those you love.

It's been slow coming, but Spring is gradually showing signs of creeping across the countryside.

We now have some lovely purple flowers covering parts of our front lawn...

...and bright yellow daffodils sprouting in our back yard...

...along with gorgeous red bulbs proliferating in...

...uh...no, wait a minute; I'm wrong.

Those are just some old cherry tomatoes Karen asked me to throw in the woods, but I didn't quite get there.

Well, anyway; the point is Spring has sprung 'round these parts and that's a good thing.

In casual conversation I recently remarked to Karen,

"One of my favorite calendrical expeditions is the exhilarating, annual journey to which all of us acquiesce as we venture across that immutable boundary between the meteorologically barren wilds of March to the lushly vernal expanse of April!"

She replied, Say what??

Translation:

I'm happy when April finally arrives.

To which simplified sentiment everyone should lend a hearty "Amen".

Here in the northland we do have improving weather prospects; it's normally mid to late April when I'm finally able to get back on the links...

...often with <less than spectacular results>.

But there's another aspect to that boundary crossing that used to be a much bigger deal back in the day than it seems to be nowadays:

April 1st, aka April Fools Day, and especially the "mass market" variety.

One of my favorite April Fools pranks came courtesy of the traditionally stuffy BBC on April 1st, 1957:

the annual spaghetti harvest in Ticino, Switzerland

<Watch It Here>

No doubt their reputation for stiff upper lips contributed to the widespread acceptance of this farcical two and a half minute mockumentary on harvesting spaghetti.

However, for my money the all-time best April Fools Day prank was perpetrated in 1985 by the once great/now worthless woke trash sports mag, Sports Illustrated:

that's 6'4" jr. high art teacher Joe Berton in 1985, friend of SI photog Lane Stewart, posing as Finch.  Berton wears a size 14 shoe. 

You can <read about it here> but the gist was the NY Mets had discovered a reclusive, free spirited rookie prospect named Hayden Siddhartha Finch who practiced yoga, played the french horn, had a pitching style that bore an alarming resemblance to <Goofy>, but could throw a 168 mph fastball.

George Plimpton was the author, which should have been a dead giveaway (check out <Paper Lion>), along with the brief paragraph on the very 1st page:

He's A Pitcher, Part Yogi And Part Recluse.  Impressively Liberated From Our Opulent Lifestyle, Sidd's Deciding About Yoga - And his Future In Baseball.

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY A(h) FIB

Widely believed - photographs in the article included actual Mets players and coaches (who were in on the gag) hanging out with "Sidd" - the issue created a firestorm of interest and activity, as both jubilant Mets fans and dispirited opponents scrambled to learn more about this freak of nature.

To SI's credit, they played it close to the vest, admitting nothing publicly, and let the furor ensue.

Then a week later in their next edition, they published a brief statement that Sidd Finch had retired from baseball; a week after that they admitted in print the whole thing was a hoax.

Ah, the good ol' days, before humor succumbed to the suffocating ideology of woke.

There hasn't been anything that comes close to either the BBC's or the former SI's pranks in years, for good reason.

With hordes of AWFL*s on high alert...

...searching high and low for new and exciting ways to be offended, most folks have simply opted to seek cover and stay out of the line of fire.

* AWFL - Affluent White Female Liberal

Speaking of retirement, let's put this edition of the AMC to bed with a big fat helping of 23 Skidoo:

like most problems...

...if you don't tend to them post haste...

...they tend to spread

#4 son and his wife (not to be confused with Ward and June Cleaver) gave us a very cool Christmas gift - a "Frameo" - which I finally got around to setting up.  it auto-downloads pics they specify so we get a constant slide show of them and their kids...super cool idea.

a few Easter and Spring motif decorations have cropped up lately...

...lightening the mood a bit...

...as we finally exit winter...

...and happily embrace the new season.

not mine, though I'm told there's a striking resemblance...just something our little eyes spied at the eye doctor's recently

dinnertime at the ok corral

and finally, the long awaited return of enjoying a Parodi Kings cigar from my vantage point in the command center

Judging by this Easter morning's cold and windy weather, April is stealing a page from March's playbook and has "come in like a lion".

No doubt 4 weeks from now we'll have warmed up nicely and April will "go out like a lamb".

It's interesting that Jesus is called both the "Lion" and the "Lamb".

You can trace this seemingly contradictory imagery from the beginning of the Bible to the end.

In Geneses 49:9,10 Jacob blesses his son Judah (from whom Jesus descended) as a lion that will retain the scepter.

In Revelation 5:5-9 the Lion of Judah opens the scroll of God's judgment and is worshipped as the Lamb of God who was slain to redeem us by His blood.

Today - Easter - we celebrate Jesus as the Lamb of God, our Redeemer and Perfect Sacrifice, who died on Calvary's cross for our sins and then rose to life again on that very first Easter Sunday.

But He's also the Lion of Judah who will one day return in glory and administer God's judgment on an unbelieving and unrepentant world.

By the grace of God, we all get to choose where we'll spend eternity; it's part of God's plan for "free will".

My advice?

Trust the Lamb of God at the foot of the cross in faith and enjoy the glories of heaven.

Otherwise you'll face the Lion of Judah in judgment, and you do not want to end up in the smoking section.

later, mcm fans...

Happy Resurrection Day...

..."He is not here: for He is risen, as he said.  

Come, see the place where the Lord lay."

   - Matthew 28:6

I hope you and yours experienced a joyous Easter Sunday.

As the Apostle Paul wrote in I Corinthians 15, if not for the resurrection of Christ, we of all people would be most miserable.

But because of His sacrifice on the cross, "...in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us." (Romans 8:37)

Happy Easter, y'all.

Turning to affairs of state:

If you seek a pleasant peninsula...

...you're gonna need a different governor. 

That's normal person and Trump aide Natalie Harpe on the left, and apparently someone with the mental acuity of a 4 year old on the right.

Sorry to say, that's our beloved governor here in Michigan, Wretched Dimwitmer.

You see now the depth of our problems.

It's natural to ask, "what was she thinking?", but that's giving her way too much credit.

No doubt the tangled jumble of neurons misfiring in her brain tapped into her primal fear:

"What if my progressive pals see me kiss the ring of Bad Orange Man?

"I won't be allowed to play with them anymore!"

Thus her knee jerk reaction to hide behind her folder when the White House photogs arrived.

One of the hallmarks of great leaders is the ability to think on their feet and make good decisions.

By way of contrast, what WD did is normal behavior for a half wit.

Obviously incompetent, she shouldn't be allowed anywhere near actual power.

Ah, Springtime!

While a young man's fancy may turn to love, this old man is all in for...

...you guessed it: hickory golf.

And more specifically, pre-1900 hickory golf:

What's a spoon?  A brassie?  A lofting iron?  And where's the golf bag?

All these faskinatin' mysteries and more are sure to be revealed.

Well maybe, if I feel like it and if you're paying attention, neither of which is certain at this point.

For now, let's just dissect my 1st round of the season, shall we?

Ewww...looks like my 1st round of the season, so let's just skim the highlights instead.

That's it; the one and only highlight of today's round, just before I teed off on the 1st hole and ruined the whole thing.

In a previous post, I mentioned if we lived in a perfect world I'd pick up where I left off last year - with nothing but pars and bogeys.

Using that metric, it is safe to say we do not live in a perfect world.

There's plenty to get excited about on the political front, but I say we just fuggedaboudit and 23 Skidoo:

new welcome mat

spring decor

I'm sensing a theme here

if I get tired of being incompetent at golf, I can always switch to being incompetent at bowling

karen and I enjoying a candlelight dinner, sans food and drink, apparently

resurfaced a green this weekend...one more to do this year.

almost tulip time

Easter Peeps - they're not just for breakfast

magnolias are almost ready to pop

We haven't much time here on planet earth.

It seems like we do in our younger years, but then we blink and find ourselves 50 years down the road before we know it.

In the space of that eyeblink, our youth will have fled, we could have married, had kids, welcomed grandkids, worked for five decades and retired.

It's all blue sky until one day when it's not, and then eternity is right around the corner.

"The days of our years are threescore and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away."

       - Psalms 90:10

So what will you say when you stand before your Creator and are called to give an account for your life?

If we're wise, we will humbly plead the blood of Jesus Christ, who died on Calvary's cross in our stead, that we could be forgiven and have life eternal with Him.

It is an old saying, but true:

"The Greatest man in history had no servants, yet they called him Master.

"Had no degree, yet they called him Teacher.

"Had no medicines, yet they called him Healer.

"He had no army, won no military battles and committed no crime...

"...yet kings feared Him, He conquered the world and they crucified Him.

"He was buried in a tomb, yet He rose again and lives today.

"His name is Jesus."

Do you know Him?

Happy Easter, mcm fans...

Today Is Good Friday...

...the start of Easter weekend...when Christians the world over celebrate the death and resurrection of Christ.

For most folks Easter's a yawn, just a day to indulge the kids with candy, stuffed animals, and maybe an Easter egg hunt...

...weather permitting, of course.

Nothing wrong with celebrating and having some fun; we used to when the kids were little.

In those days we usually had some month left over at the end of the money, but we always tried to scrape enough together for their Easter baskets.

And why not?

They were kids, and we wanted to make it fun for them.

But as the Apostle Paul wrote, "When I was a child I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man I put away childish things." (I Corinthians 13:11)

Rightly so, especially on Easter, because this day above all others has eternal consequences.

On Good Friday, while Jesus hung on Calvary's cross, the wrath of God burned on him for three hours as he paid the awful price for our sins.

Isaiah wrote, "Surely He hath borne our griefs and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem Him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

"But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon Him, and with His stripes we are healed." (Isaiah 53:4,5)

The resurrection is proof God accepted His sacrifice...

...so we can have peace with our Creator and eternal life in heaven with Him.

God's done all the heavy lifting here, so what's your part in this?

Simple: <trust Him>

Happy Resurrection Weekend.

Behold the magic of waiting:

If you're of a certain age you recognize the above as a Polaroid picture, and unlike today's digital photography that's truly instant, taking pictures with a Polaroid camera involves some wait time...

...for that wonderful analog chemical reaction to percolate awhile as it cooks up an amazing picture right there in front of your beady little eyes.

The irony, of course, is that back in the day when Polaroid cameras were first introduced - think 1948 and the Polaroid Land Camera Model 95 - they were hailed as "instant photography".

No waiting!  Instant pictures!

Compared to the normal process of taking an entire roll of film, then removing it from the camera, packing it up and sending it away for development - something that could easily take a week or more - a Polaroid picture was indeed "instant".

And the Polaroids of old did develop more quickly than these Polaroid redux pictures do.

Whatever the chemical mixture was back then - now banned - it was much faster.

Within a few short minutes you saw your handiwork appear like a phantom emerging from the mist until voila!

Your masterpiece metamorphosed into vibrant reality right there in your sweaty mitts.

Today it's more like 10 or 15 minutes, and they actually continue their chemical process for quite awhile after that.

So...given the wait, the cost, the quality compared to ultra hi-res digital photos...is it worth it?

Sorry...didn't mean to insult your intelligence with such a dumb question.

Obviously it's worth it.

All you have to do is take one look at the camera that produces those pictures:

What?  You don't think that looks like a camera?

How about now?

Yeah...that flat rectangle was the original Transformer, an engineering and photographic marvel that - with a pull of the hand - miraculously morphed into the coolest camera ever invented:

The Polaroid SX-70, introduced in 1972.

A decade later it was out of production, but thanks to the Impossible Project in 2013, now succeeded by the rebirth of much improved Polaroid film, these classic cameras live again.

The SX-70 film is quite sensitive to over exposure, so it takes some experimentation with the light / dark adjustment to get it right.

Polaroid recommends setting the light/dark dial a third of the way toward darken:

That, however, is just a recommendation and each camera is a little different, so it can take awhile to find the sweet spot on your particular SX-70.

After more than my share of failures...

...I'm now finding success with this camera.

Indoors the camera actually adjusts to lower light conditions by using a slower shutter speed - a bit unnerving the first time you press the shutter button and experience this long pause before the film ejects.

Never fear, as long as you didn't punch the button, but firmly pressed and held it a moment, the film will eject...just be sure you hold the camera steady during the pause to reduce blurring.

Indoors at night requires a flash attachment and the results are variable.

If you're photographing something up close, it tends to highlight/wash out that person or object while most of the background fades to black.

If you're not taking a closeup it seems to work a little better...

...though I probably should have had the light/dark dial a click more toward darken.

Those last two were taken with a vintage NOS SX-70 flash bar, though Polaroid does sell an electronic one.

Bottom line, your best pictures will happen when there's lots of natural daylight, either inside or outside, and I absolutely love the rich, soft, creamy colors you get with the SX-70 film.

This camera is so cool it should have been a mid century modern marvel, but missed that era by 7 years or so.

Sadly, that drops it solidly into the 1970s, the dumbest decade on record:

Jimmy Carter, pet rocks, disco, polyester leisure suits, the Chevy Chevette, my first marriage...

The 70's owe the world an apology for pretty much everything EXCEPT the Polaroid SX-70 camera.

(And my oldest son...he was born in the 70's, so we'll carve out an exception for him.

(Um...and my co-worker Larry, also born in the 70's; and come to think of it, the Atari was kind of cool, and I did like Jaws; and Star Wars wasn't bad...)

Ok, forget all that.

The point is, you want to be one of the cool kids, right?

Of course you do, so get your hands on one of these classic SX-70 cameras, buy some Polaroid film and start making some instant memories.

And now I see we've arrived at the terminus of another blog entry...

...well, not that terminus...that one's in Australia where the fascists locked down the citizenry per instructions from Dr. Fraud himself, Anthony Fauci.

Either way, it is that time again, so you better lock it up...

later, mcm fans...